Miki Raver wrote a wonderful book
about the women in the Bible entitled, "Listen To Her". I have taken
the liberty of quoting her because she says exactly what I want to
say as a preface to my drush.
"At first I felt guilty about
applying my rebellious, contemporary perspective to the holy text. Now
I know that I was creating midrash and following age-old tradition.
Midrash is the interpretation and commentary that emerges from
questioning what's written in the Bible. It springs from the Hebrew
word l'drash, meaning 'to question.' The Torah is layered with many
levels of understanding, each word holding a vast number of meanings,
all of which are true. The interpretive process is what gives the Bible
its vitality and makes it a living, giving vessel.
"For thousands of years, classic
rabbinic midrash was created by men in study houses, while the women
took care of the children and ran the family business. As a result, we
have a highly respected body of interpretive literature that comes from
an entirely male perspective, often reflecting a fear of the feminine
and an investment in suppression of women. It was actually written in
the Jerusalem Talmud that 'the words of the Torah should be burnt
rather
than be taught to women.' Blessedly, the golden age of feminism in
the past three decades has brought a flourishing of midrash created by
women. Women are adding compelling scholarly, psychological, and
literary perspective to Torah. So long excluded, we are finally taking
our place."
Before embarking on the Creation
of the Universe, I will share my modern day perspective of "The
Creation of the Psyche," based on the holiest of prayers, the Shema. My
belief is that what is real is oneness and what is illusion is
separateness. On the spiritual plane it has to be equal to be one.
In the beginning, the fetus knows
no separation from its mother. When the mother feels anxious, the fetus
feels anxious. When the mother feels content, the fetus feels content.
After we are born, we know no
separation from our mother. Her face, her breasts, her love and smiles
are part of the
baby's presence with no awareness of separateness. As we grow up, we
learn to differentiate ourself from our environment. We begin to
individuate
and develop our own perspective and desires and will.
When we approach age two, we
learn
to speak and express our individuality by using the powerful word,
"No!" we learned from our parents. We call this period the "terrible
twos" because we are clearly separating ourselves from our parents. We
are setting limits to our parents' authority over us. By the way, wise
parents will honor their child's "no" if they want their son or
daughter to become confident, independent and interdependent adults. As
we grow up, we continue to individuate as we compete in school, make
friends and select aspects of people's personae to add to the creation
of our personality choosing how to appear in society.
As we grow up, we continue to
individuate seeking and creating identities which define us in our
search
for our self as we separate from others.
We
learn some skills and leave home to attend school or work where we
judge ourselves and others, compete, experience a need for exclusivity,
while we experience jealousy and failure as we compare ourselves to our
peers often feeling alone, forsaken and left out of the flow of life.
As the individual, we have become aware of a craving for the giving
and receiving of love and oneness. As we grow spiritually, we begin to
realize that the separation of trying to prove our individuality
doesn't feel good any more….in fact, it's lonely and is no longer
fulfilling.
We then begin to undo the
patterns of individuation to come back to the oneness we crave which
feels more genuine and comforting than separateness. We decide to stop
competing to try to prove ourselves worthy of other's approval, we
deliberately stop judging others and ourselves, we take responsibility
for uncomfortable feelings of separation such as jealousy and interpret
it as a need to
feel included and be part of the whole.
As we evolve back into the gift
of oneness, the gift of Hashem, we accept our parents and incorporate
within ourselves a beneficent mother and father that can be trusted to
nourish the child within and we begin to feel whole and part of
something
greater than our small self. We feel part of our large Self exploring
towards unconditional oneness with others and within the Self.
The Book of Genesis is God's way
of giving his children stories to read and tell and retell. In the
retelling we gain, hopefully, insight into our personal story. As Jack
Shuster reminds us, "Everything in the Torah is true and some of it
might have even happened."
I begin my drush-Midrash without
further ado. In the beginning God gave birth to wondrous creation. The
Holy One created water, light, the firmament (that which is firm), the
planets, the fish, the animals and the birds and the insects. The Holy
One created the miracle of life from nothing. And it was good. Yet,
the Creator was not satisfied. This Supreme Being reflected…(imagine
God reflecting!) "As full as I am is as empty as I feel… I will create
human life in my own image … a special gift with potential beyond the
animals and birds in my garden to be my children and to be my
co-creators. Creation must ignite a sense of appreciation and inspire
another life to create with me."
The Bible has two versions of
Eve's creation. In chapter one of Genesis, woman was created
simultaneously and equally with man, as the feminine half of an
androgynous whole. In chapter two of Genesis, we find another
description. Here the Creator made the human fall into a deep,
trance-like sleep and built a woman from the side of the primordial
being. Although the biological fact is that man comes from woman, the
second version revised this truth to reinforce the supremacy of men.
God equally created man - Adam,
and woman - Lilith, from the same flesh. Adam fought to control the
wild impulsive, passionate, free-spirit of Lilith but she fought back
with equal fervor with her strength and will. They fought about
everything from independent free time exploring to Lilith insisting
that when they
make love, that she be on top so that she would be closer to God.
Things
got out of Adam's control and Lilith decided that she could and would
not live in the Garden of Eden with Adam except on her terms: equality,
respect and freedom. Adam refused her terms and she left the Garden
to pursue her path.
Adam felt lonely and incomplete.
He longed for her, his playmate, his equal. God intervened and sent
three angels Senoy, Sansenoy and Smangelop to the Sea of Reeds to
convince Lilith to return to Adam.
Lilith sent the messengers back
with her reply, "I will return only with agreement on the terms of:
equality, respect and freedom."
Adam refused her terms and sulked
as he became lonely and unhappy in God's paradise. God had rachmonus/compassion for him as a parent would for their child and as
Adam slept, God created another companion from Adam's rib with the hope
that Adam would be happy with his woman,
Eve, at his side. The name Eve, is also Chava from chai, which means
life source of spiritual being.
Adam awoke the next morning with
Eve sleeping at his side. He was in shock! Who was this strange ugly
creature? Initially, he was repelled by her appearance after comparing
her to the only woman he ever knew: a seductive willful Lilith who
lived
for herself and her instincts… without him.
Eventually, Adam got used to Eve
and began to appreciate her. Adam found it easier to control Eve; she
was in awe of him and did as he said without question, which made Adam
feel powerful and made life easier for Adam but, truthfully, less
satisfying.
In spite of himself, he missed Lilith and her contrary ways. In anger,
he vowed to himself that she must suffer consequences for her
independent
action… as did the Torah scholars who wrote Lilith out of the Genesis
story, to prevent her from influencing future generations of
potentially
independent females. These men created horror stories about Lilith
so that she and her attributes of equality, passion, independence,
impulsive
and unpredictable behavior would be blotted out or prevented in future
generations. The men were frightened to allow women power over them
or themselves.
Women were lowly possessions to
be controlled with no rights, no influence, no education and no say.
Stories were spread to demonize Lilith as a baby killer or the curse
of pain during menses and birth. Men were terrified to fall asleep with
all the horror stories about this seductive she-demon pouncing on them
while they were defenseless. It was whispered that she would entice
them to experience forbidden sexual pleasure only to awaken alone,
terrified and wet as she flew off to raise seductive havoc with other
men vulnerably asleep. The horror stories were embellished for everyone
to believe and fear and push Lilith away like the devil Satan.
So, here's Lilith getting a bad
rap while she's living a solo free life and Adam is back in the Garden
of Eden with Eve. Life is divine for Adam. He has a good-enough
playmate who doesn't challenge him, it's safe in his Father's garden of
perfection and he's happy enough until… Eve has been thinking… this
tree… this kapu/forbidden tree… oh hum… I'm feeling bored in this
Garden… it's always the same-same here… I want something different…
something new. Adam hears her but doesn't pay much attention as she
rambles on. Eventually, Adam nudges Eve with his elbow, "Stop thinking
so much. Stop talking so much. Same-same is all there is, Eve."
Eve ponders and responds, "I
don't
know… I want more, don't you, Adam?" Irritated, Adam shouts at her,
"There is no more. We have everything right here in our Father's
garden.
Eve brightens up, "Well, if we have EVERYTHING in our Father's garden,
what about this tree with red fruit which you named apple? I'll have
that!" Adam came to full attention. "Everything BUT that tree, Eve!"
"Why?" she asked. "Because…" he
tentatively replied. "Because why?" she bravely asked.
"Because He said so!," he nodded
with finality. "Well," she asserted, "I don't find that answer
satisfying and I want to either know why I shouldn't taste the fruit of
the tree of knowledge or I want to know the taste of something new and
something… forbidden. Adam, haven't you longed for something new and
unknown? I
feel excited by the prospect of knowing something different something
unpredictable… I want to know more… this hunger I feel… Couldn't it be
a good thing? Just the thought excites me to see, taste and know more.
I sense there's more than we have here. I have this closed-in feeling
that we are locked up in half of our lives never moving ahead… In a
stand-still, same-same everyday, every minute of our lives. I want
to know how that apple will feel in my hand, how my teeth and tongue
will feel as I bite into its substance as I chew it and feel its
texture
and taste the juice in my mouth… to feel it slide down my throat into
my waiting belly… Adam, would you like to know more? Feel more? See
and hear and smell more?"
Adam, for the first time, felt
mesmerized by her sensuous vision but then he was reminded of Lilith
and how she left looking for more. He blurted out, "No!" But it was too
late, her teeth bit into the apple, tongue slurping the juices, her
eyes opening in surprise and delight. Her face transformed into an
expression of ecstatic pleasure as she appeared to Adam that she had
become bigger and brighter. She handed him her apple to share. "It's
divine, have a taste." Still mesmerized by this new entry into the
unknown, he took a bite and knew the bliss of the new experience he
witnessed on Eve's face.
Suddenly, Adam felt himself
shrinking smaller, cold, awkward, separate, orphaned and humbled. In
his despair he looked at Eve glowing in her new found sensation of the
apple. She stopped chewing, looked at Adam as his appearance shrank in
shame and asked, "Are you cold? You look so blue… and you're covering
yourself with your hands!" She gazed into his eyes and saw a strange,
unnatural, distant expression. "Adam," she asked, "what's come over
you? You look strange. You remind me of a trapped fearful animal… are
you… still you?"
Adam ran away from her and hid.
Eve assumed he was playing a hide-and-go-seek game and began her search
but Adam didn't want to be found. He wanted to stay lost and not found
by HER. Eve wasn’t used to Adam being away from her so long. With the
satisfying feeling of fullness in her stomach, she lay in the sun and
fell asleep. As she slept she dreamt of a woman, a strong woman, a wise
and knowing sensuous woman named Lilith who appeared with an owl on
her shoulder. She kissed Eve gently on the forehead and said, "All is
well gentle woman. You are now free to begin your journey outside your
Father's garden. You are good, you are equal and you are free to be
wherever and whomever you choose."
Eventually, Adam recovered after
mourning the completion of his years in his Father's garden where life
was easy, safe and under control, into the life that Lilith had chosen
where life was filled with knowledge, newness, fear, curiosity and
challenges.
Since then we see a history of
our forefathers who willingly or unwillingly left their father's home.
Lilith was the unrecorded first to choose
to leave Gan Eden. Then Adam and Eve adventured forth onto uncharted
paths later to banish their son Cain for killing his brother Abel. Then
the Torah brings us Noah who had to leave his home in an ark to journey
into the unknown while the rest of mankind drowned in the flood. Then
later, God sifted through humanity to find his jewel, Abraham, whom He
commanded to leave Uhr and his father Terach's home. Later, Abraham's
son Ishmael was banished from his home to start his own tribe. Next,
Jacob was forced to leave Isaac and Rebecca's home for betraying his
brother and father. Joseph was forced out of his father's home by his
jealous brothers who sold him into slavery. And again, Jacob found it
necessary to leave the home of his uncle Laban (who was also his
father-in-law)
with his wives and children and grandchildren. Moses and his Jewish
followers had to leave the security of slavery in the land of the
Pharaoh
to journey for 40 years through the unknown desert. Isn't it
interesting
that we celebrate Passover as a reminder that we need always to be
ready to leave our home and belongings for life's sake.
[To the congregation:] Raise your
hand if you chose to leave your parents' home or garden to venture off
into the unknown. Raise your hand if you're glad you took the risks.
Amen.
By Gloria Blum